Martin Beck Nworah Monday, July 21, 2014 4
When you enter Lagos, your body 'go' tell you. You don't even need any spirit to tell you that you're in the most populous city in sub-Saharan Africa. Same goes for forums and social platforms that have Nigerians on them. And I must emphasize, Nigerians based in Nigeria have greater tendencies to exhibit these five traits.
1. "I'm a 300 level student and I'm in love with my lecturer....advice me"
Typical Nigerian advice:
a. "Na wetin your parents send you there go do? Stupid girl"
b. "Who get BB charger here abeg"
c. "See love story, wait till the wife catches you...husband snatcher"
2. A news update that is reporting about the president's opening of a new Power plant in Nigeria.
Typical Nigerian comment:
a. "MTN is in trouble ooooooooo, I have been using this code for the past six months and mtn is in trouble. Just send 4321 to 090....................."
b. "PDP is sharing our money...there's god ooooo"
c. "Idiot, your father na pdp sharing money"
3. Thousands of them will continue to visit your website or blog and will never comment. But once you promise a reward and tell them to drop their e-mail, you will see the real 'famzing'.
Typical Nigerian style.
a. "Auntie BB, thank you for this free money ooo. please, share it 20k each. I have never commented on your blog but I read everything...my e-mail is ....."
b. "Chai..this awoof sure pass. I'm that guy who waved at you seven years ago while you were still in the university and you smiled back. my e-mail is......"
c. "Thunder fire any person wey talk say I no go chop this moni...if ah hear"
4. An update that is talking about the release of a new gadget in town. maybe phone or tab or any of the fancy techs.
Typical Nigerian comment.
a. "Chai, so you people want to chop my money again...you people are wicked...oloshi"
b. "Monkey, poor fool, did anybody beg you to comment here, release go away joooor. I'm so buying this phone.
c. "Na to visit my mega naw...anoda koret something don show for town"
d. "Ash***...public property. Go meet your senators"
5. They will add you. Ask for your phone number, what you do for living, your address and every detail about you on the very first chat. If you're a lady, the guy will certainly start inviting you over to his house that first day.
Till we get to the Promised Land, I shall be waiting for when you will pass me a glass of water and thank God for the gift of grace for the race.