Martin Beck Nworah Wednesday, September 27, 2017 3
"If you keep acting independent, nwam, no man will allow you into his house."
My friend sent me the above text as screenshot after reading my article, "To be a lady is difficult." She said each time she engages in any argument with the fiancee, even if the guy is clearly wrong, she would read that message sent to her by her mother and apologise to him.
Over time, the orientation she got was one of total submission and an article of liability to a man. In the end she said, "At the mention of marriage, many Nigerian ladies lose their sense of reasoning and rationality."
I don't think society is being kind by attacking ladies who aspire to marriage as an achievement in life. What did their mothers teach them? It is difficult for the girl to do something wrong and be reprimanded without that annex, "...no man will do this or that if you act like this or that."
Let the mothers do their job and liberate their daughters from this mental shackle. Teach your daughter to love and appreciate herself without seeking for approval from a man.
Teach your daughter to believe in the beauty of her own dreams and see courage in her own abilities. They don't need us, men, to validate them or accept them because they're submissive in all ways that would seem like cowardice.
Dearest mother, this is the 21st century. Teach your daughter to be independent in both her thoughts and actions. Every day, tell her, "My daughter, you are enough." Make her believe she can conquer the world and confront any obstacle without waiting for a man to lead the way.
If that girl grows up seeing marriage as an asset instead of seeing herself as the real asset, you have successfully, albeit sadly, trained a liability for our society.
Your daughter is an asset, not marriage!
Till we get to the Promised Land, I shall be waiting for when you will pass me a glass of water and thank God for the gift of grace for the race.